Crazy Love 3

As I read Chapter 3, I had a hard time compiling my thoughts, so I

re-read the chapter. I think what kept tripping me up was Chan's

description of his father. My childhood was nothing like Chan's. My

parents are amazing examples of how I should live my life. I

respected my father. Like Chan, I did not want to upset him. As I

re-read the chapter, I had to not focus on Chan's father, but on the

comparison he was trying to make. Once I figured that out, I realized

how amazing an example of God's fatherly love my dad is in my life.

My dad taught us discipline, respect, and love. It took me a while to

understand that all of what my dad taught me, both through praise

and punishment, were to lead me down the correct path in life. He

really amazes me, now that I think about it.

But, the truly amazing thing, God loves me more! If my earthly dad

loves me that much, it'shard to grasp how much my heavenly Father

loves me. I think this also caught me up. I can'tfully understand how

much God loves me. How much He has given and Sacrificed for me.

My mind goes blank, literally. It's crazy.

Then the question of our faith comes up. I've been referred to as

faithful in the past. Probably because I tend to stick too things, but is

that more loyal than faithful? I took stock of my faith. I realized

something very interesting. Like the mass majority of people who

claim the title of Christian, I tend to have more faith in God in the big

things than in the small details of life. I understand that God is in

control of the big picture. I trust Him in that. But I can't seem to let

go of the mundane details in my life.

Chan reminds us of two very important passages in Scripture. Matt.

22:37-38 (Jesus quoting from Duet. 6:4-6) which reminds us to "love

the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with

all your mind." along with Jeremiah 1:4-5 "Before I formed you in the

wombI knew you, before you were born I set you apart..."

I already knew these passages, as well as their echoes in other parts

of Scripture. Yet somehow, this time, it clicked. And again, speechless.

This chapter challenged my thoughts, left me without words, and is

still stirring my heart. I think this book is going to be more

challenging thanI thought it would be when I started it.

Other Proverbs verses...

Proverbs 12:4 "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones."

Proverbs 19:14 "House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD."

Proverbs 27:15 "A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;"

These little nuggets of wisdom give us a practical understanding of what it means to have or be a good wife. Being that I am not a wife yet, I am trying to practice these things in advance so that they are not so difficult later.

First, 12:4, based on chapter 31, we know what it takes to be an excellent wife. The idea that this is a crown for her husband is a great one. He should be proud to have her as a wife. He should be proud that his wife is excellent. Want to know what what I think it means to be an excellent wife? Go read my post on Proverbs 31, I'm not typing all that again!

Next, 19:14, Prudent? What is prudent? According to dictionary.com:

pru·dent

   [prood-nt] –adjective

1.

wise or judicious in practical affairs; sagacious; discreet or circumspect; sober.

2.

careful in providing for the future; provident: a prudent decision.

Well, that's pretty straight forward. Again we see this idea of a wise and careful person. She knows what she's doing and how to get it done. She is meticulous, multi-tasking, and mindful of everything. Definitely something to strive towards.

Finally, 27:15, and this one is a warning. Dripping water is annoying. I do not want to be annoying. There are better ways to communicate with your husband than through nagging and arguing. This is a trait I am trying hard to work on. I do not want to be a quarrelsome wife. I don't want to be that way with anyone. Open discussion and communication are important. I also hate confrontation, but I do not want to be a doormat either. There is a careful line here. I'm going to try my best, hopefully my husband will be patient with me.

Ruth- Loyalty and Love

Ruth - Read her book in the Old Testament.

1:16-17 "But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the LORD do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you."

The story of Ruth is a great little story. It tells of love and loyalty. Ruth was not a Hebrew. Her husband and his family were. When he and his brother and father died in a war, Ruth had a choice to make. She could return to her family or stay with her mother in law. She chooses to go with Naomi back to Judeah. Her loyalty to her new family, nation and God is apparent in the verses above.

I love this story because it is a great example of family loyalty and love. Ruth shows loyalty to her mother in law, Naomi, and makes the choice to help take care of her. Ruth works hard and devotes herself to her new Hebrew culture. Levitical law allows the next closest man kin to marry a relatives widow. This allows the family live to continue. Boaz was not this kinsman redeemer, but he sought that man out to ask if he could step into that position. He had watched Ruth in his fields. I guess you could say thats when he fell in love with her. I think Naomi knew what she was doing when she sent Ruth to those fields to glean leftover wheat. She knew Boaz would be a great man for Ruth. What a great matchmaker.

My grandfather, Pop, used to say that once you marry into the Evans family, you are family. There are no in-laws. And that's how everyone is treated. You're Family. I feel very loyal to my family. I would do anything I could for them. Hopefully, someday, I'll have the chance to feel that way for my husband's family as well.

The love story between Boaz and Ruth is amazing as well. The way they treat each other is amazing. He asks his workers to leave a little extra wheat out for her to gather. He took care of her because she was taking care of Naomi. She also, respected him. She knew who he was and asked for his provision. He saw great qualities in her and loved her for them. It's just comforting. Ruth had someone to take care of her, and Boaz was more than willing to do that.

Because of Ruth's loyalty, she has earned a place in history. She was the great grandmother of David. Who knows if she ever had the chance to watch him grow up, but wow. This also means that she is in the lineage of Christ! What a family tree to belong in! God rewarded her loyalty to Naomi and her faith in Him.

Crazy Love 2

There were two things that really hit me in chapter 2. Life is a vapor, and do not be anxious for anything.

I understand how quickly life can come to an end. Whether is was a family member, friend, or classmate, I lost one or two people every year from 6th grade until college. My life was also almost cut short in college. I don't remember much about the car accident. Friends have told me most of what I do know. I do remember a nurse telling me that I should be dead and that God must have a purpose for my life. She was amazed that I had survived with the few injuries I had. After I saw pictures of the car and of myself, I was amazed too. Because of this, I am all to aware of how short life can be, and how quickly it can be taken away. Every time another friend, co-worker, family member, or even just an acquaintance passes away, I am reminded of how brief our lives can be.

But I do not allow this foreboding to send me into a depressing downward spiral. Instead it stirs me on, I know all to well that if God didn't want me here, I'd be gone! I have a goal. Figure out why God has me here, and do what He wants me to do. I'm not sure what that purpose is , aside from giving God glory. I could already be working out my purpose. Who knows, but the idea that there is more to be done is exciting to me. And, when God's done with me, He'll bring me home.

The idea of worrying hits me with more of a day to day impact. My sister and I, along with my mother, aunts, and female cousins, joke about the worry gene and how it is passed down through the x chromosome to each female in our family. My grandmother is the queen of worry. Each of us in turn have activated our worry gene and the symptoms appear to worsen as we grow older. We make fun of ourselves and each other, but at the same time it concerns us. We actually worry about worrying too much. That's a little too far.

I haven't always worried about things. But, as my responsibilities grew, I began to worry more and more. As people began to rely on me for things, the worry grew. I like how Chan defines worry and stress:

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control."

This hits hard. I never really thought about these two terms this way, but he is so right. What a lack of faith! How arrogant of me to think that my worry or stress is out of God's control. This is another thing that I know in my heart but my head forgets. I love the fact that God is in control. It gives me peace and comfort. I try really hard not to worry about things. Ironically, it is easier for me to not stress the big stuff. However, I am constantly worried over the little things. I have nightmares about things going wrong. I am an adult; I should not be having nightmares!

My prayer at this point is that the Spirit will convict me when I start to worry or stress. I need to stop in that moment and give whatever it is over to God. He is God. He is in control. And He going to take care of me. Nothing that happens to me is out of His hands. I love the verse that tells us, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. With this verse, why would we ever have a worry?

(Lord, You know this is one of my biggest struggles. Help me to give you my burdens. I know that all things are in Your control. Help me to live that out, and let You be in control.)

Crazy Love- Initial thoughts and prayers

When I first started into this book, my thoughts were simple. "I love listening to Francis Chan. Everybody is recommending this book. I've probably heard this stuff before."

But as I dug into chapter 1 my prayer began. "Show me something new! Open my callus heart. Bring back my amazement in You."

I am aware of how big our God is. I do have faith in the things unseen. But the idea of spiritual amnesia hit home. All too often I forget my place, and God's in all this. I know it in my heart, but my head forgets. I get caught up in the day to day and allow myself to forget that God is in control. He knows all things, and that I am in His hands. The idea is humbling and yet still hard to remember. I tend to forget who God is most at school. Dealing daily with disrespectful, irresponsible, dishonest, sinful students makes it hard to remember that God is in control of all things, and even lives in the hearts of some of these students.

I am setting a goal for myself. "My school is my mission field. I will try to be Christ to my students, coworkers, and bosses." This will be hard. Coworkers can be as difficult as students and the pressure to whine and complain is an easy one to give in to if I am not careful. Just the same, my bosses tear me down, and rarely encourage me. Seldom am I praised for any good work. But why should I expect praise? I need to remind myself to avoid sinful pride. I must become less so that He will become greater. I should work as if I were working for the Lord. Because I am. I should do my best, work my hardest, at everything I do. I am an example of Christ. I need to live that out.

I've got a long way to go...

Esther - Courage that saved a nation

Esther (She has her own book in the Bible, go read it.)

Esther is not only a role model for young women, but for everyone. We all know her story. The king gets mad and throws out the queen, just because she refused to dance around naked in front of his party guests. Then he sets out to find a new queen. Esther, along with hundreds of eligible young women are gathered from throughout the kingdom for the king to choose from. Esther is chosen. Then The king's right hand man, Haman, plots against the Hebrew people. He didn't like them to begin with, and now he's going to try to get rid of them. Esther's cousin, Mordacai, hears about the plot and tells Esther. She was made for "such a time as this" and Mordacai encourages her to do what is right.

Here's where Esther's courage steps in. She doesn't act right away. She is honestly and genuinely afraid. She could die for coming before the king unannounced. Instead she works her way into the king's favor. He already likes her. He chose her from among thousands. They probably got along really well. She fasts and prays for days before going before the king. She seeks to do the right thing. But, I also believe her prayers were full of asking God to soften the king's heart. When she does go before the king, he grants her mercy and asks what she needs. I think just getting that far zapped her courage. She invites the king and Haman to a feast. At the feast, she invites them both back again. She is biding her time. waiting for the right moment to tell the king everything. Finally, on the second night, Esther steps up and tells the king everything.

The king is furious. His temper flares again. Except this time, it's not against the queen. It's at his right hand man. Haman is out, the Hebrew nation is saved, and all because a young queen had the courage to stand up against what was wrong.

What can we take away from Esther's story? Have courage. Even when it's hard, when the situation is tough, stand your ground. Stand up for what is right. Pray and seek God before you act. It's easy to say but I think Esther's story shows us that it's ok to be scared and to hesitate. The story shows us that having courage is a hard thing, but the reward is great and the consequences can be great as well. The Scriptures tell us in many places to have courage. (Deut. 31:6, Josh. 1:6-7,9, Acts 27:22, 1 Cor. 16:13) If God said it so much, He must really mean it. This is one of the hardest characteristics to have. We all struggle with doing what is right, especially when it's not what everyone else is doing. But the Word remains the same, "Be strong and take courage"!