Abigail - a wise woman

1 Samuel 25

No, I'm not always going to give you the scripture that I'm working through in every entry. This is almost an entire chapter and I think you should read it for yourself.

I love Abigail! If I have a daughter, I will give her this name. Talk about a wise woman. To understand her story, you have to consider her husband. Nabal, which means fool, lived up to that meaning. He was foolish in his decisions, and in his behavior. In this story, he disregarded the protection of David. David and his army had been camped near Nabal's land. Nabal's herds and shepherds were protected and well cared for by David's men. But when David sent some men to Nabal to ask for provisions, Nabal denied them. In fact, he acted as though he didn't even know who David was. He accused his men of being runaway servants. What was he thinking!? When word came back to David, he was furious. He and 400 of his men "strapped on their swords" and went out to kill Nabal and all who were with him. Revenge was coming. How dare he act this way after all David had done for him. Nabal's wealth had flourished with David in the area. And this is the thanks he gets! Stupid, stupid foolish man! He's living up to his name!

But then his wife, Abigail, enters the picture. Poor girl, this marriage was probably arranged. Nabal chosen for her by her parents. She has had to endure his foolish behavior for years. This is probably why she gained the wisdom that she has. Abigail has probably defused more than one hairy situation caused by her husband's foolishness. She is slow to speak and diplomatic. She knows how important David is to not only the region, but the nation as well. She knows that he has God's spirit on him.

When she hears what has happened, she jumps into action. She gives orders to prepare food to servants who probably know this routine well. She sets out to head off David and intercede for her family. If her husband is too foolish to do what's right, then she will do it for him.

When she mets David, she falls to the ground and begs for mercy. She pleads with him to not take revenge on her husband and household. She explains her husband's foolishness and asks for forgiveness. And David relents. WHEW! Abigail presents David and his men with food and drink. David's anger in subdued. He remembers that revenge is the Lord's, and that God will take care of Nabal. He thanks Abigail for preventing him from sinning out of anger.

Abigail returns home to find her husband throwing a wild party, completely unaware of what almost happened to him and his family. He is drunk and foolishly happy. Abigail decides to wait until morning to tell him what happened. When she does... Nabal has a heart attack from the shock and dies 10 days later. Revenge is the Lord's!

When word reaches David. He rejoices in that the Lord took revenge for him, and in that Nabal paid for his foolishness. He then sends word to Abigail, asking her to be his wife. He was impressed by her. She is the only wife that he proposes to in this way. She was given a choice, and again showed wisdom in accepting him.

We recognize Abigail as a wise woman because of the actions she took to protect her family. Despite her husband's foolish behavior, she knew what was right, and did it.

My granpa considered "fool" to be the worst name anyone could be called. It was the highest insult. Because of this, the term "fool" is only reserved for serious situation's and for very special people. In my family it is rarely used. We may refer to actions as foolish, but rarely a person as a fool.

Abigail was wise, probably beyond her years. She knew her husband's faults and knew what she needed to do to protect herself and her family from the recourse of his actions. Today we not only consider this wise, but we also call it tact, social savvy, or responsibility. Whatever you call it, This is a woman to model yourself after. If we could all have the wisdom of Abigail, conflicts would either not happen or would be quickly and peaceably resolved. Strive for wisdom in tough situations. think before you speak or act.

(Oh Lord! give me the wisdom of Abigail. Help me walk through situations carefully and deal with foolish people tactfully.)

In the Beginning - Where it all started

Genesis 1:26-28, 2:18-25, 3:6

²⁶Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."
²⁷So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

²⁸And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

¹⁸Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. ²¹So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²²And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³Then the man said,

"This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man."

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ²⁵And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

⁶To the woman he said,

"I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you."

And thus all of our issues begin. Along with man, we were created in God's image. Our purpose was straight forward and easy. Give God glory through everyday life. The first man and woman had an audience with the Lord. They walked with Him, and basked in His glory, daily. Woman was created as a help meet for man. We are here to complete each other. That is God's plan. We are different, but we are meant to work together. I love what my pastor says at weddings, "Woman was not created from man's head to rule over him. Nor was woman taken from his feet to be trampled under him. Woman was taken from his side, under his arm, to stand next to him, to be equal to him, and protected by him." I'm not sure if this quote is his own creation or if he borrowed it from another, but I think it sums up perfectly how woman should be treated by man.

I also would quickly like to discuss that day when God brought all the animals before Adam. He knew what he was doing. God was not hoping that Adam would find a mate through this process. I believe that God was making a point. None of these are exactly what you need. He wanted Adam to anticipate a match of his own. So that when God brought Eve to Adam, he would be happy. God knows what He is doing, always, in everything, even when we aren't sure, He is!

And then, of course, the fall. Admit it, woman was deceived. I don't know if Adam was there or not. I'll leave that to the theologians to discuss. Either way, everyone received a punishment. We all know what our punishment was, increased pain in childbirth and a desire after your husband. This is where the waters get a little murky. The first half of the "curse" can be seen two ways, literally, more pain in childbirth. Yeah, OUCH! And also, there are those out there that says this was the beginning of our heart-wrenching desire to have children. The second half has a great deal more confusion around it. Either option, stings. In this part of the curse, the disagreement is over semantics. Are we desiring our husbands, or to be our husbands? Both could work, and it shows differently for every woman.

We desire, long for, a husband. As young girls, we play house and plan our weddings. Boys don't do those things. Some say thats part of it for us. We are different from guys when it comes to our reaction to dates, crushes, break-ups, and engagements. Get a group of women together, and that's what they will talk about. From middle school through old age, we are constantly interested in the social and romantic lives of others and ourselves. I feel this, whole-heartedly. My heart longs to be married. I believe that this desire is God-given, and that He will give me the desires of my heart. But, I am learning patience in this, I must wait for His timing. My heart aches to have a husband, perhaps that is my part of the curse. But I do not view it as such a horrible thing, only something the Lord has placed in my heart to look forward to someday.

The other interpretation of this part of the curse is that we will desire to be like our husbands. The crushing line, "he will rule over you", really has a sting to it. This is probably where the gender separation started. This is probably where woman became less of a help meet than originally intended. But, I don't think man's, yes man's, interpretation of woman's inferiority is correct. No where does this verse say that woman are inferior. It says that our husbands shall rule over us. And boy, have they. The modern feminist movement is an obvious example of this part of the curse. We fight to be treated equal to men. But, has it gone too far? We are different, and those differences are God-given. So why should we blur the gender lines? Girls are girls, boys are boys. We are meant to be different.

Let's look back, to where God started everything. God made us to complete each other. His plan was for us to be good at different things and therefore, help each other in those things. Sin has messed that all up. We have become prideful, and selfish. Neither gender is better than the other, just simply different and we should honor that. God made man to be good at certain things, and woman the same way. Both are equally important, special, and honorable. God is infinitely creative, and we should glorify that. As men, and women, in our own, God-given ways, we should give God glory for how he has made us.

(Lord, help me to understand my role as a woman, and how you have made that role special and important. Lead me in your path and show me the plans you have for me. I will give You glory in everything I do.)

Starting with the obvious - Proverbs 31

Proverbs 31:10-31

The Woman Who Fears the LORD

^"10An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
¹²She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
¹⁴She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
¹⁵She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
¹⁶She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
¹⁸She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
²⁰She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
²¹She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
²²She makes^{Y)" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">} bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
²³Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
²⁴She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
²⁵Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
²⁶She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
²⁷She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
³⁰Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates."

There seems to be this preconceived notion among those outside (and even a few inside) the church that the Bible calls women to be passive, weak, and completely subject to the rule of a man. However, Scripture speaks to a different role for women. I'm not really sure where this idea of a second class woman came from, but even this most commonly quoted passage mentions a different kind of woman.

Proverbs 31 is a well know, often quoted passage, for young girls and grown women alike. There is a reason this passage is often labelled, "The Virtuous Woman" or some similar version. But, nowhere in this passage does the Word say that a woman is to sit quietly and only do what she is told. No where does it say that a woman's place is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. On the contrary, she is busy!

The Proverbs 31 woman is very busy to be exact. She rises before the sun comes up and doesn't go to bed until it's dark again. She uses her time wisely. She is a homemaker and a businesswoman, involved in charity and respected in the community. This woman holds the favor of everyone in her house, including her husband.

The idea of a Biblical woman being a homemaker is not that hard of a stretch. According to this Scripture, she strives to provide for those in her home everything that they need. She brings a variety of foods to the table. She makes sure everyone is dressed appropriately, whether the weather is warm or cold. They have what they need. But, she doesn't stop there.

She is also a businesswoman. She made clothes and sold them. She purchased land and planted vineyards. She was known and her product trusted among merchants. This woman is not sitting on her rear all day. She does work outside the home. Somehow over the centuries, and only until recently has it changed, a woman's role had been reduced to home. Today, we have a rounder view of a woman's place. She can do it all. She can do anything she wants. The Lord has called women to manage the home, but not to be restricted to it. We have an ability to multitask. We do this better than men. It's okay, we need to multitask. We have a lot to get done, and God has given us this ability to help us manage that long to do list. This woman is a manager, and delegator, and a strong CEO of her home and her business.

But, it's not all business for this woman. The verses in Proverbs 31 mention her charitable contributions. Verse 20 most prominently mentions that "opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy." Today, this can take many forms. There are so many charities and ministries that a woman can be involved in. But the key is, she's involved!

Built on all these things is an important point to remember. She was respected in her community, among the business world, among the political and religious leadership, and most especially in her own household. Respect is not something given to a small, hidden, silent, subjected woman, who is only useful for cooking, cleaning, and childbearing. This is powerful. Her husband is respected because of her. She is wise and kind, she gives counsel to those who seek it. She teaches others how to be a godly women. She has become a model of Biblical womanhood for hundreds of generations. And her husband respects her! He knows that she is intelligent and hardworking.

Most importantly, she feared the Lord. She knew that He held her in His hands, and that she owes everything she has to Him. He is her guide and where her strength is found. He is her foundation and purpose. Through her example, we can see what God wants for us.

We are not to be lazy. We are to get up, get out there, and show our light to the world. We, as women and children of God, are to share this example as hardworking, multitasking, dedicated, and respected women. Those on the outside, should see women who do our very best in everything we do. They should be amazed at what we accomplish. I know full well that this is a hard model to live up to, especially in a world that values different things. But we should also remember what the end of this passage says, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." It's not all about beauty and charm, (though these things are helpful) it's about our relationship with the Lord. We are to seek Him, in everything we do, whether in the home or in the workplace. Everything we do should bring glory to the Lord and seek to show Him to those around us.

(I am still striving for these things in my own life. Lord, help me to be the woman You have planned in every step I take. Oh Lord, help me!)

Coming soon

Because of recent discussions and requests, I will be posting a series on my views on Biblical Womanhood. Watch for it. And remember, These are only my thoughts and opinions based on the scriptures I have read.